Not sure where this fits in... just random writing.

Chris misplaced his keys... again.
After firing off a series of frustrated text messages to the co-workers he was meeting, he turned over his couch cushions, along with anything else that was in his path. Running his fingers through his dark hair, he looked at his counter.
Of course, right where he left them.
He grabbed them, forgetting to turn off the light on the way out, cursing under his breath.

Entering the bar, filled with "bros" with their stupidly expensive pool sticks and all the girls in tight little shorts, he scanned the room for his friends. Settling into a bar stool next to the one he knew best, he ordered a drink before starting the conversation. It was typical and of course he put in every word that needed to be said. One drink turned into four, then six... Then he saw her.

She was sitting at a booth in the back, her head in her hands, staring at the glowing screen of her phone. He could practically count the drops of condensation on her barely touched drink. The curve of her breasts in the loose-fitting top, how slender he shoulders looked in comparison to the width of the straps. Her lips were pouted as she touched the phone, biting them in contemplation, her hair falling into her eyes.

He excused himself to go say hi. Placing the money for his friend's next drink on the bar.

He strode over to her confidently, his hands practically in fists. He hadn't told her he would be there, but there she sat, alone.

"Andie," he said, his voice husky from holding his breath.

She looked up at him, her eyes fluttering to focus. "Oh, Chris. Hi."

"What are you doing here?" He took a seat next to her and she moved over slightly.

Andie ran her finger down the side of her glass, watching the water pool around the bottom. "Just having a drink before I head home. You?"

"I'm here with some buddies." He answered, setting his drink on the table.

"Cool.." She seemed uncomfortable, she could tell he had been drinking. She went back to playing with her phone, casually sipping her drink while looking at him from the corner of her eye. "Hey, I think I should be...going or something."

"Let me walk you to your car!" He had said it to eagerly, she was looking at him funny.

Chris got up and started back to his friends, leaving his drink on the table. Andie downed hers and started towards the door. Suddenly, she turned, her eyes meeting his as she placed her hand on her hip, waiting patiently.

They met about 10 steps outside the bar, the cool night air sobering. She had placed her key in the door and as she was about to turn it, he pushed her against the car, claiming her mouth with his. He could taste the rum on her lips, his hand pressing into the curve of her hip roughly.

Andie wrapped her arms around him, "Not here." she gasped against his mouth. "Too public, don't you think."

"No." he groaned, rubbing his body against hers. He felt her skin, dewy with sweat against his and it was driving him wild. "Yes, ok. Where then?"

"I don't care. I didn't plan on this." Her nails were leaving trails of fire down his arms.

"Get in. We'll go to my place." They parted only long enough to climb into her car. Rejoining as soon as she had put her key in the ignition. She ran her hand over the growing bulge in his pants, before pressing hard on the gas and squealing out of the parking lot.

Who am I to disagree?

Andie sat pushing her food around her plate with her fork, glancing in the general direction of Dinae occasionally. Her friend was trying to be helpful, she was sure, but she just couldn't hear anymore. It was killing her.

"You know how I feel about it, Dinae. I shouldn't have had these feelings, it was, like, rule motherfuckin' one. He said, 'No feelings.' and I was all, 'Teeheheh! OK!' Then I fell for him. Hard. Not even hard. I'm pretty sure that this is like my heart dropping off the Empire State Building and then smashing into the pavement."
She glowered at her salad. Stupid croutons, baked toast too hard to stab with her fork.

"I'm just saying you need to tell him how you really feel. That's all," Dinae answered soothingly.

Andie pouted. Dinae could get the croutons on her fork. What was with all these women being better than her?
She looked closely at her friend, with her perfectly straight red hair and green eyes. She was married to her former fuck buddy and was living a seemingly perfect life. It made Andie's heart sink into the pavement of the sidewalk outside of the Empire State Building.
She wondered what was higher than that. Maybe she could jump off of that next time.

"I have. I've told him so many times that I'm pretty sure all he hears coming from my mouth is, 'I'm absolutely totally in love with you and I'm being a ridiculous girl right now.' You know, the type of girl I'm always bitching about. The type of girl that has nothing really to offer. I'm such a mess right now, it's terrifying."
She pushed her salad away from her and laid her forehead on the table. "I could just die right now. She's so much better than me and I don't even know how."

Dinae looked at the top of Andie's head. Her roots were coming in, the shiny dirty blonde that she was when they first met. When Andie peaked up at her from behind the table's edge, Dinae took in the sight of her deep, dark, and troubled blue eyes. They weren't huge and doe-like, but the curve of them gave her a mysterious look. The bridge of her nose was slender.
Andie's face was beautiful. Full of expression and terrifying all at once. She had been called ugly throughout their whole childhood, but when she matured into adulthood it became a hard and striking face. Her lips were probably her best feature on her face. Or at least they would be if she would smile.

"You'll never know how, Andie. You don't want to."
"Yes, I do."
"Why? So you can change yourself for some stupid boy?"
"Yes." Andie pouted, resting her head on her hands and looking innocently up at her friend.
"No, you don't. If you ever found out all you would do is rage inside, realizing that you'll never be like that, that you'd never want to be such a sell-out."
"So, you think it's her job?"
"You're so impossible, Andie."
Andie smirked. The slight upward curve of her full lips gave her a mischievous look. Her eyes were bright now from the rapid conversation.

"Andie, I don't think she's better than you in any way. Look at you. You're a successful non-success. You have always bent situations your way and I know right now you are just mad that this is something you can't touch. You don't know her. Hell, I don't know her. I just know she's not better than you."

Dinae ran her fingers through her perfect hair, as Andie watched. It was a sign of frustration.
"You're biased because you love me."

"Andie. Everyone loves you. There are just people that don't want to admit it because you love too deeply. You always have. I mean, remember that failure of a marriage you had? You wanted it to work out so bad that you gave him all of you."

"If there was ever a lie on this Earth, that was it Dinae. I never gave him all of me. There was always a piece of Chris there to save me from making that mistake." Andie looked away as she lit a cigarette. There was a tear glistening in her eye.

"Why do you love him? Just why?" Dinae finally pushed her salad away.

"Because it's the right thing to do."
Andie stood up and walked away, living a handful of crumpled money on the table.

Sweet Dreams, you say that you have them....

   Andie was on her knees with his zipper between her teeth.
   His collar was around her neck, as it was ordered to be as soon as she stepped into his studio apartment. She often found herself wearing it to bed, with only the scent of him clinging to her and the memories of their time together dancing through her head. Would he ever be truly hers? Doubtfully...
   He looked down at her, his massive hand on the back of her head, as she skillfully unzipped his pants. She hardly used her hands anymore and he preferred it that way. He rewarded for showmanship, but never in the way she craved. There would always be a hole where he fit into her heart. It would always be only partially filled.

       What they did never mattered. He could have her body a million times in twice as many ways, she would not resist. They could lay on the couch, completely nude, her head in his lap while he toyed with the ring on her collar. She only wanted him, for more than who he was as her Master... but for who he was when he was her friend.  Yet, he was never truly hers and he always slept beside Her.
   She didn't even have a name to Andie. She was just some faceless entity that Andie wished out of existence every night and every morning. With her coffee, Andie would press her lips to the mug and offer a prayer to any God that She would disappear. At night, when she would brush her teeth, Andie would pass the time thinking of ways to make it happen.
   
        He had her laid out on her back with his hand on her throat now. This is the part where she gasps for air and pleads with her eyes for him to be merciful. Digging her nails into the carpet as her back arches. No one could imagine how beautiful she felt at his mercy.

 ......

       Chris ran the bath, pouring Andie's favorite bubble bath in it. She lay curled on the floor where he left her, her eyes staring off into space and her fingers running down the space between her breasts. He looked back at the tub and turned off the water, beckoning her to him.
       She snapped out of her dream at the sound of his voice and she smiled, walking coyly to him. He took off her collar and helped her step into the tub, placing a kiss on her cheek when she had sank into the water. The sigh that escaped her pouted lips was music to his ears. He often thought why this was the only relationship they had, when they could have so much more.
       Her eyes were closed as he ran the water through her hair. He rubbed her scalp as he applied the shampoo, enjoying the curve of her smile...how she bit her lip when he traced his finger on her neck. Rinse. He felt that if he repeated the process, he would be in the tub with her. The only place he'd never had her was in the bath. The shower, many times... but the bath felt sacred. She had never been pampered. She often came to him exhausted but eager.
       Chris could see the hope in her eyes, every time she left. He knew she only wanted to hear that word, "Stay." So often he almost said it... and he felt guilty to the Other.
      Who was his Other now? Was it Andie or was it Her? He never thought on it too long. Andie never asked for an explanation,  often for her own sake more than his. Probably, because she choked on Her name and refused to cry for any other reason than pleasure in his presence.
       Andie with her blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Her hips that leave men with their tongues wagging. Her long neck, framed by slender  shoulders.. her year-round tan. Everything about her was gorgeous. The way she refused compliments and the way she refused any other men. It was not a requirement from him that she not have another, she just didn't. She often said that she didn't want to date, but when she did, the way she looked at him said otherwise.
     Chris often heard it as "I don't want to date anyone...but you."
    And he would never tell her how much it hurt.


tbc